Sunday, October 01, 2006

Current Affairs?

As a kid, I watched the drivel known as commerical channel current affairs basically because it was the family tv. I don't really recall too much of it as I'd probably be waiting on Beverly Hills 90210 or whatever was cool back in the late 80's early 90's. It's funny to see the state of current affairs in this country at the 6.30 timeslot and how absolutely disgraceful and commercial it is. No wonder people have no idea what's going on locally or internationally when there's the constant stream of new weight loss cures or shonky tradesman stories going around. Its interesting that one week I'll be told by mum: 'Don't use the internet to do any online shopping they steal identities!', followed by the next week being advised to do all you buying on the internet because that's where the bargains are. Unfortunately my parents watch either of the 2 commercial current affairs programs, despite protests by their offspring on an equally constant frequency.

I decided to take a look on the websites of the respective shows to see what stories had been screened in recent times (basically because I couldn't stomach watching them for a week).

Here are the stories from the A Current Affair website:
-Why new mums go mad
-A weight loss role model
-Head start for baby
-Magnetic beauty
-Credit cards: is yours mean?
-Perils of online banking
-Rich kids: making money from a young age
-Bills, bills, bills: how to reduce them
-Women working their way up from home
-Looking for a sea change?
-Man shortage: where to find one
-Winter holiday specials
-Factory outlets: grab yourself a bargain
-The great grocery rip-off
-Kids lingerie incenses parents
-Bad-smelling bargains
-Fruit and vegies: making kids naughty?
-Fergie praises weight loss star
-Make-up tips from the experts

I'm no intellectual giant, but none of the above really is above the level of a National Enquirer story. Not to be outdone, Today Tonight had the following at their site:

-Kickboxing off the kilos
-Some muesli bars have no benefit
-The migrant test top 10
-Easy fixes for clothing problems
-Five steps to a healthy life
-The odds of gambling
-Tips to make a good career
-Sacked for being 'too fat'
-Testing new Australians
-Migrants forced to learn English
-Too fat for the catwalk
-Psychic problems
-Bottled water bonanza
-Is it a ghost?
-Microwave your flab goodbye
-Slimming down on a patch
-The truth about speed cameras
-Treatments for acne
-Cleaning your carpet
-Your rights: shopping returns
-Alternative pregnancies
-Easing pain
-Sleeping off the kilos
-Driving well for a free car
-Best of the bargain websites
-Online bargains: find the freebies
-Mortgage insurance cash backs
-Looking 10 years younger
-Saving money at the bowser
-Peeling away the years
-Rent a handbag

The best from the above have to be:
Microwave your flab goodbye
The latest overseas treatment aimed at trimming waistlines has arrived. It claims to be as easy as microwaving off those excess centimetres.

-I'm sure the next thing they'll plug is: 'Microwave off those pounds while cooking a roast for the family!'

Magnetic beauty
While women across Australia spend millions of dollars on creams or plastic surgery to improve their looks, a new product is claiming to remove wrinkles and lines just by applying gold-plated magnets to their skin.

-This can be used in conjunction with the 'wrinkle roller' which also doubles up to flatten any dough in the kitchen.

For starters I can't believe people watch these shows, and secondly I can't believe Neighbours is probably the most informative show on at 6.30 on the commercial networks... The 'reports' are recycled in regular intervals with different angles and the presenters are more suited to host 'Ripley's Believe it or Not'.

Please watch the 7.30 Report, Foreign Correspondent or listen to Hack on Triple J at 5.30

4 Comments:

At Monday, October 02, 2006 2:31:00 pm, Blogger Applecross WC said...

Is there anything a microwave can't solve?

 
At Monday, October 02, 2006 3:24:00 pm, Blogger M? said...

I agree AWC!

Wow... I'd go off on a cynical rant just about now but all that can be taken from this is a guilty laugh and cringe.

My thoughts: Skip the 6:30 slot to lance your warts or sleep off those kilos and instead tune in at 7:30 to catch Mythbusters.

Thanks for that 'informative' lesson Jonno, keep up the good work!

 
At Monday, October 02, 2006 4:30:00 pm, Blogger yossarian said...

aah, i couldn't agree with you more jonno - i just love kerry o'brien and jane hutcheon ... er, in that (real) current affairs addict kind of way. and thanks for recommending Hack on JJJ - haven't tuned in before so i'll give it a whirl.

but going back to your A Current Affair list, aren't you the slightest bit curious about fruit and vegies being linked to naughty behaviour? or is that just me?

 
At Monday, October 02, 2006 9:45:00 pm, Blogger Jonno said...

Thanks for your comments!

Applecross WC I think you're right... (eating food from there now!)

lol M's nemesis, unfortunately I got home from work a bit late so I missed out on most of Mythbusters, but usually I catch it... Dunno why I wrote that it was just a spur of the moment thing...

yossarian, Hack's not too bad, but the new host isn't as good as the previous one. Highlights are on podcast which is always handy. Maybe a little curious in the ACA story, but not enough to tune in ;)

 

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