Jon Doesn't Have Talent

When asked the question, I answered with certainty, but the stomach churned as soon as the answer was given. The question? 'Do you want to join us for Karaoke?' Yes, I decided to partake in the popular pastime which seems to explain where the masses disappear to after hours. Without knowing what to expect, I was informed the next day that we'd been booked in for a 3 hour session with the option to extend if we wanted. 3 hours! I don't think I've listened to music non-stop for that long. Upon arriving at the venue, I was confronted with in excess of 300 rooms for youngsters to tickle their vocal chords. Ushers paced the corridors for blinking lights, to assist in providing drinks or answer questions for those inside. Upon leaving, I noticed that most of the rooms had blinking lights which explained the slow and forgetful service.

A labyrinth of corridors and numbered rooms operating 24 x 7

Within the room there was a large screen at one end, 2 microphones for those important duets, while a touchscreen enabled queuing and selection of songs. Options such as disco lighting, cheers from a buoyant audience or switching backing singing on/off were available on small consoles at the entrance and back of the room.

Select your song and follow the words!

The first choice of songs - really just an impulse from my teen years - 2pac - Changes, really brought home a) How poor my singing is and b) how difficult it is to sing a rap song. Needless to say I thought it was going to be long night...

With over 380 pages with 16 artists per page, there was no shortage of selection, with every mainstream pop artist that could be thought of including the last obscure Idol winner from Australia (I can't even remember the name now...). Without a specific song or artist that came immediately to mind, I proceeded to page through, to find a name that would inspire my voice to shatter some more windows or induce another dog to start howling. I settled on the following which I think were reasonable choices (that I can remember):
REM - Man on the Moon
Red Hot Chili Peppers - By the Way
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
Jay Z feat Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind
Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire
Placebo - Every You, Every Me
U2 - Where the Streets Have No Name

I pulled out of the last two as there were no backing vocals and frankly, I found it impossible not to laugh when listening to my own voice... Additionally another song will not be mentioned here so as to keep the little credibility I have in music taste. Alternative artists were of somewhat slim understandably due to popularity amongst the masses.

There was some impressive singing from the other participants, and the 3 hours flew by, and at just 70yuan (~$11AUD) each for 4 people including a pitcher of beer and tea, it's a cheap pastime. The initial song was daunting and I wasn't completely comfortable singing for the whole night, but it was enjoyable and an experience which I wouldn't normally try.