Fish Food

A three hour drive from Shanghai and it is a relief to get out of the concrete jungle that is the main city. Not having experienced a hot spring - I failed to venture to an Onsen in my trips Japan - it was something I was curious about and Tianmu lake was the destination. Before the trip, I had to organise some swimming trunks, as this particular hot spring was not au naturel.

Not unlike cows in a prodding yard, men and women are separated upon arrival to the hot spring, where a multitude of attendants usher you through the maze of change rooms to your locker which matches a plastic wristband which acts as a magnetic contact key. Hence one of my curiosities of how you secure your belongings while wallowing in some hot water was solved - eg not a traditional door key.

Imagining large pools where people congregated, I was surprised with the layout, where around 50 small pools peppered the landscape. There were a variety of different pools, ranging in temperature (up to 52 degrees) and content, - which I'll touch on later - while budgie smugglers made unwelcome appearances throughout. Sitting in the hot spring, it certainly was relaxing and if it were devoid of people, I could get a lot of thinking done, on what exactly I'm not sure.

Walking throughout the resort and going from hot spring to hot spring, there were some interesting varieties, including one filled with beer (a waste I say, but didn't dare take a sip), lavender and by far the strangest was fish. In a cooler spring, for just 15 yuan (~$2.5aud) you could sit in a pool where little fish nibbled away at your dead skin. Be sure to keep you head above water, so as not to swallow fish excrement, while those who opted for budgie smugglers rested easy as the little fish could not venture into unwanted territory. It's a strange feeling to have fish nibble away at parts of your body, and regardless of whether or not I got any benefit or just provided some fish food it was a unique experience.


As Golden Week in China ends, - three days of public holidays followed by some well timed annual leave - it's a shame that I managed to catch a cold and been stuck watching some atrocitious acting and lines from War of the Worlds instead of venturing around town. However, I did stumble across a great service here, where a delivery company for just $2.5aud, arranges ordering, pickup and delivery of your chosen food from participating restaurants. Eg you have a hankering for a local Japanese place? Log onto the delivery service website which replicates the restaurant's menu, select your order and presto, it's delivered with no fuss. It saves worrying if the restaurant can understand English, while also provides an easy way to sample a variety of restaurants.

It's a Dinosaur!

It's been many years since I've visited the local zoo in Melbourne and I haven't gone to the Werribee open range zoo either, so whether this ranks high or low in the zoo rankings I cannot say, but last week I ventured out to the Shanghai Wildlife Zoo.

The Monday being a public holiday (thankfully occurrences of public holidays here is not desolate in the second half like back home, with a 5 day weekend approaching!) I travelled by train and bus (thankfully with a local) out to a 153 hectare zoo wandering around for about 5 hours. In such a large area, we were able to walk around freely, even with the multitude of people milling around. The usual suspects in terms of animals were present, most in large enclosures and even some were permissible to feed. Thank goodness for the SLR, as I was able to get some good snaps of a giraffe with a tongue Gene Simmons would be envious of. Finally, lugging around the camera paid some dividends!

Impressive reach

You can't visit a Chinese zoo without seeing panda, and I was thankful to get a glimpse of 3. Thinking that there was to be a line 10-15 deep reminiscent of the subway, I was pleasantly surprised to be able to navigate my way around and get a few snaps. Yes, they were about as active as one of those people you see on "Amazing Medical Stories" who are 200kgs, but they're just so damn cute you feel like going up and patting them.

This was as active as the lovable panda got!

With around 2 hours to go before closing, we noticed on the map that there was an area only accessible by vehicle. Seeing some large passenger buses we thought that they were ferrying locals to the zoo from other places, however upon closer inspection, there were 2 bus lines to visit another area of the zoo: Regular passenger buses, and another which carried around 40 people, which one of the staff mentioned: "Is much better than the other ones". Not knowing what to expect, we paid, lined up and waited. Important: This bus was a cage with wheels with outward facing seats and no windows. A much better choice! However, for those thinking of going, the left side of the bus has a much better view! Without much knowledge of what we'd be seeing, the bus took off.

Not unlike a scene from Jurassic Park, a manned gate opened where the vehicle drives into a holding area. Once inside, the gate behind closes, and the one in front opens, complete with signs about electrified fences and warnings for broken down vehicles. (I could hear Jeff Goldblum's delivering a on-liner) Inside, zebras, buffalo, and gazelles roamed freely, while other areas (through separate gates) housed bears, tigers, lions and cheetahs. Unfortunately with the bars being so close together, getting a clean photo was difficult, however seeing a tiger up close and personal was a great experience. The vehicle is allocated one 'free' chicken, which is dropped from a chute and gobbled up in a flash. 60 yuan would allow for another chicken, and a tiger was teased before the chicken was granted an extended 10-15 minutes before the next bus circuit.

Happy to see this rare animal

When are they going to drop one of those pesky humuns through the chute?

Finally, we ventured to a seal show which was enjoyable albeit short, however it was included in the cost of the ticket, so I can't complain. What was noticeable however was the extreme amount of excrement offloaded during the performance which perhaps could be put down to nerves from the performers. In any case it was a good show despite the fact that the water looked like it hadn't been changed in a few years.

Let's hope the tap water is better quality

Impressive vertical leap

To finish off the night, some dumplings and tsingtao (Chinese beer) replenished the energy reserves. I've got to say some of the places in Melbourne have some pretty good dumplings when compared to the ones here... I'm impressed.

I'm Too Old For This Sh!t

The line from the Lethal Weapon series - a favourite from my childhood - seemed to best describe my thoughts when I went out on Friday night. Experiencing the Shanghai nightlife, we went out to eat some Sichuan food with a group from work. With more chilies than a bowl of rice, there were even some murmurs from the locals that it was hot, while anyone who knows me understands that I can take to spicy food about as well as a dwarf competes in a tall man contest. Thankfully I was able to nibble my way through enough to line the stomach with some protection before a full night of alcohol, and we managed a very 'Australian' custom by drinking the restaurant out of cold beers.

A small group of us ventured on to a popular nightspot called M2, which drew some raised eyebrows from some of those we told. Needless to say, my name and cool places are not synonymous and I was having second thoughts on the t-shirt and jeans I decided to don. The main difference between asian and western countries in terms of clubs as far as I can gather (from around the 6 I've been to in my life), is that occupying space requires a certain amount of dough, which I found out this morning cost me to the tune of 2100 RMB ~ $320 AUD - heck that was just MY share! What this got you was a small table, a couple of bottles of whisky, a fruit platter, and a guy who transfers the whisky from the bottle to a jug. Obviously this business model tends to work better than Australia where patrons can nurse their $10 drinks for a couple of hours. With fashionistas, complete with a so-called hip-hop singer the pre-requisite 'tosser' sunglasses (gimmie a break - indoors at night??) complete with western dancers and  it was quite an experience. I can't recall the last time I went to a night club, and I don't even know if I can call it that, but there was loud music, a bunch of people dancing, and a strange dice game being played where the loser downs some of the expensive nectar that costs me more than half my flight here! It was an enjoyable experience as it's not something I'd go out to do, while it was good to see what happens with young folks these days!

We went onto another club where my guess is that the other half of my plane fare is about to sting me as this was a slightly larger table, there were more drinks and the music was louder. Geez, I don't know how people do this week in and out. This was different again, with fancy dancers strutting their stuff at regular intervals, showing patrons how it's meant to be done. Rest assured I didn't dare attempt to dance and was quite happy to guard the expensive space we had secured.

Thankfully all these spots are a stones throw from my apartment and I was able to stumble home at 4am. I hadn't had that much to drink, however I did manage to press the wrong floor and try my card in someone else's door a few times - luckily I didn't start banging on the door. While the incorrect floor I did get off had the hallmarks of a patron who didn't make it to his/her room - spew all over the elevator exit which I somehow managed to avoid. Microwaving some frozen fries and having a shower, I was knocked out in no time.

Needless to say not much else happened on the weekend. I'm too old for this sh!t...

Oh, just to put a dampener on all this cool clubbing underground scene talk, my iPad is back up and running, resetting and deleting the whole thing seemed to work, and now it's just a matter of re-syncing 7gigs of data again!

***edit: Thankfully I've now been informed the amount for the club was a *total* amount rather than each! Much more palatable and easy on the wallet!****

Random Rants

I'm not a technology wiz, but I know enough to build my own PC and maintain most things related - usually by resetting the PC! So when basic technology just doesn't work, it's infuriating. The convenience of the iPad has been great, but in the last 2 weeks, it refuses to connect to the internet. Now this would have to be the most simple operations available and has effectively rendered the device useless. It's a double edged sword when it comes to Apple. Lock down the device and it remains relatively safe from exploitations that are common with PCs, the flip side is, you've got to make sure it works and if it doesn't, well, you need to fix it straight away.

So here are the issues/attempted fixes - Which firmly place the blame on Apple.
1) There is a wifi signal and correctly connects to the wireless modem. Going outside or a distance away changes the signal power.
2) Safari - the only allowed browser, complains that the internet is not connected, as does the iTunes and Apps stores.
3) Resetting the configuration on the iPad - albeit limited in options anyway - fails to resolve the problem
4) Resetting the modem does nothing - neither does leaving all devices and the modem off overnight
5) All other devices - Laptop, iPhone - connect fine to the wireless internet
6) Connecting to another wireless internet - thanks to the serviced apartment for keeping strict password formats across rooms! - connects to the modem, but the error still appears!
7) Turned off auto-brightness and dimmed the display - yes that was a fix I read on the internet

It's been interesting reading forums about this issue (11 pages in one site) where this has also been reported across both versions of the iPad. Obviously there are the Apple fan boys with the 'check your modem' trick or 'update your firmware - there's nothing wrong with the product, it has to be the modem!' - even if other devices can connect. I wouldn't be so frustrated if there was another option available (eg cable connection), but a wifi device with no input options - well, leaves me with the option of wifi or wifi, so it damn sure better work!

Here's hoping another 900mb operating system update comes and blasts away whatever bug is in the system...

Ok, its not a post about Shanghai, but here's another rant...

I'll admit I've been a huge fan of the Lonely Planet guides, but I'll ask the question: Have they become too popular?

Seeking food recommendations, I went through the online iPhone application - which I'll admit probably have the worst maps I've seen with unnamed or missing streets - to find some recommendations. Picking one at random, we made our way there by taxi and from the street represented exactly what you'd expect in a foodie street. Dark with old men playing cards, while small shop owners eagarly anticipate customers coming into their quaint small establishments.

Having had to climb a number of stairs and turn some dingy corners, we made it to the restaurant. Almost booked out, we were fortunate to get a table, and the view of the chefs made for what we thought to be a good night out. As the night progressed, we noticed a lack of locals or local looking people - apart from me - filling the restaurant, all presumably grabbing the same recommendation from the same guide. This wouldn't be bad if the food was mindblowing, but sadly, it was the worst food I'd had on the trip. Reflecting, I read a bit more about the restaurant, and it was recommended as one of the top three in the Lonely Planet guide!

The question is: Has the popularity of guides such as this destroyed the once quaint, brilliant places, into tourist magnets and in some cases lowered standards significantly to make a quick buck?

Oh, the only interesting thing from the night was we tried fried bees!

Jon Doesn't Have Talent

When asked the question, I answered with certainty, but the stomach churned as soon as the answer was given. The question? 'Do you want to join us for Karaoke?' Yes, I decided to partake in the popular pastime which seems to explain where the masses disappear to after hours. Without knowing what to expect, I was informed the next day that we'd been booked in for a 3 hour session with the option to extend if we wanted. 3 hours! I don't think I've listened to music non-stop for that long. Upon arriving at the venue, I was confronted with in excess of 300 rooms for youngsters to tickle their vocal chords. Ushers paced the corridors for blinking lights, to assist in providing drinks or answer questions for those inside. Upon leaving, I noticed that most of the rooms had blinking lights which explained the slow and forgetful service.

A labyrinth of corridors and numbered rooms operating 24 x 7

Within the room there was a large screen at one end, 2 microphones for those important duets, while a touchscreen enabled queuing and selection of songs. Options such as disco lighting, cheers from a buoyant audience or switching backing singing on/off were available on small consoles at the entrance and back of the room.

Select your song and follow the words!

The first choice of songs - really just an impulse from my teen years - 2pac - Changes, really brought home a) How poor my singing is and b) how difficult it is to sing a rap song. Needless to say I thought it was going to be long night...

With over 380 pages with 16 artists per page, there was no shortage of selection, with every mainstream pop artist that could be thought of including the last obscure Idol winner from Australia (I can't even remember the name now...). Without a specific song or artist that came immediately to mind, I proceeded to page through, to find a name that would inspire my voice to shatter some more windows or induce another dog to start howling. I settled on the following which I think were reasonable choices (that I can remember):
REM - Man on the Moon
Red Hot Chili Peppers - By the Way
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
Jay Z feat Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind
Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire
Placebo - Every You, Every Me
U2 - Where the Streets Have No Name

I pulled out of the last two as there were no backing vocals and frankly, I found it impossible not to laugh when listening to my own voice... Additionally another song will not be mentioned here so as to keep the little credibility I have in music taste. Alternative artists were of somewhat slim understandably due to popularity amongst the masses.

There was some impressive singing from the other participants, and the 3 hours flew by, and at just 70yuan (~$11AUD) each for 4 people including a pitcher of beer and tea, it's a cheap pastime. The initial song was daunting and I wasn't completely comfortable singing for the whole night, but it was enjoyable and an experience which I wouldn't normally try.

The Bund

During the day, I've got to say uninspiring, but I hear 7am is when you see little old ladies coming out to practise taichi. But the real attraction of the Bund is when darkness ensues; the neon lights from across the river and passing boats light up the sky. It's a sight that could not be replicated anywhere else, and just over 10 years ago was made up of farms and rice fields. Major banks line the streets overlooking the promenade and river while thousands of people mill around taking in the views. Only a small drinks vendor and photograph station are permitted on the kilometres of platform, while police keep the peace, preventing people from standing on seats or skylarking of any kind.

Where's Wally?

Down in front!

Sitting on the steps, you can waste a day observing your surroundings. Guys lift their shirts exposing rotund bellies seeking some refuge from the humidity, while portable outdoor airconditioners add about as much benefit as dropping an iceblock into a volcano. A newly married couple take wedding photos whilst essentially playing chicken with maurading buses, as the photographer barks instructions. A model poses amongst a non-plussed crowd while a whipped man cleans up damp steps with a tissue for his harem of ladies to sit so as not to ruin some pristine white pants.


Speaking to some locals, its not a place visited frequently and is more for tourists - although there seemed to be an inordinate amount of black hair amongst the crowd. When getting to/from the area, it felt like 5 football matches had just completed with an endless stream of people walked in both directions, occupying a car lane on each side.

The only time pedestrians have right of way - but it doesn't stop the honking...

New Job Opportunities

It's been an awakening of the senses living in Shanghai the past week and a bit. From the hit in the face of unbearable humidity at 830 in the morning, to the streams of people navigating the subway, at times it's difficult to switch off and just relax. One thing I've learnt is to throw away any thoughts of personal space, but getting in the swing of things almost resulted in me 'hip and shouldering' an old lady while exiting the train. Yes, there's no notion of: everyone out before everyone in when trains are involved.

Currently I've managed to spend a measly 45 yuan on train fares for about an hour's journey each day - roughly $7AUD - which is the equivalent of a day's travel back home. Yes, I understand the differentials of the costs of living and wages, but somewhere along the lines Melbourne missed the memo about spending on basic infrastructure. I'd be happy to be paying more if I'd seen improvement... enough of a rant. One curious procedure remaining since Expo 2010 is the placement of xray machines at every station prior to swiping your card (which, by the way works a charm). I've seen many monitor operators dozing off, while a polite attendant gives the 'here is your seat madam/sir' gesture to those with large bags. On the first day being naive and stupid, I popped my bag through the machine, as the operator with 'homer simpson' glasses (eyeballs painted on the outside while he/she sleeps) gave no more than a cursory glance at the screen. More often than not, unless the attendant stands in your way, you can ignore them, or alternatively follow closely behind a larger man to obscure their view. The train system is easy to navigate, with the common design of colours and numbers (which I've seen in almost all the Asian countries I've travelled to) to let you know where to go. Seats are at a premium, and if a few are on offer, there's a race for it, (no kidding!) not unlike Kramer in an early episode of Seinfeld.

Looking at this photo now, I think the security lady is looking directly at me. I'm surprised I wasn't taken down! While the guy on the left politely says: 'You shall not pass!' - ok maybe not that, but his left hand gestures you to put you bag through the machine

One has to keep their wits about them on the streets, as the traffic lights are more 'traffic light suggestions' and more than once I've almost had my ugly mug plastered across the front of a bus. Fortunately my apartment is close to a supermarket, and the thought of being an importer/exporter has crossed my mind. Heck, I think it's cheaper for me to bathe in Asahi at just over $1AUD for 640ml.

Just to prove I wasn't bluffing
What's a price comparison without the obligitory banana? (Note: ~6.5:$1AUD)

Anyway, I'm off to bed, like this guy on Taikang Rd. Ahh nothing like a Sunday afternoon nap while the world passes you by.

The Idiot Has Landed

It's one of those 'fate' moments which just happens, but makes you think about the world we live in. A number of chance events and something that couldn't be replicated again in a thousand tries occurred on the way to Shanghai from Melbourne.

I was informed about a 4 hour delay - well, these things happen, I'll request an aisle seat I thought (no online check-in), ok, strike 2 out of 2 for that airline as I got a nice surprise as I stepped on the plane I had the dreaded window seat. I digress. The 'fate' moment occurred as I polished off a couple of fast food items courtesy of a $14 voucher from the airline. I had a full four hours to kill, but at that moment, mixed in with wandering the airport, I decided to proceed through customs. As I approached the gate, I noticed a work colleague who was travelling to NZ. What are the chances??? In anycase, it was a good way to kill a couple more hours and an excuse to down a few morning lagers. Thanks for the last Australian Asahi beers Panel!

On to the plane, a 'professor type' passenger managed to snag what I thought should have been my aisle seat. Commandeering the armrest and then some for the whole flight didn't improve my opinion of the man and coupled with constant sniffing, (I counted once every 20 seconds) I was on the brink of calling him a Tibetan supporter who hates Mao. Needless to say I chuckled as the second meal was reduced to 'Fish only' and he argued with the air hostesses to look for a chicken meal, only to be told none existed. Harsh, but it wasn't for an allergy as he reluctantly nibbled on the provided meal - didn't this guy realise a few years ago this was a communist country?

Having had many warnings about taxis, coupled with my apparent lack of 'street smarts' (which I'll argue!) I was wary about the airport in Shanghai. Going through customs, the criteria for x-raying baggage was whomever was stupid enough to make eye contact with them, (I'll revise that street smart argument) while locals bustled past with their porn magazines strapped to their chests. I thought to myself all the pointers, ignore those people who ask if you need a taxi and go straight to the rank, just the rank I repeated to myself. Well, thanks to the 4 hour delay, at midnight all the shifty brothers were asleep, and the taxi rank consisted of 1 person - the man who walkie talkie'd to the awaiting cabs! The next tough job was explaining my destination, however this turned out to be easily interpreted by the taxi rank man to the taxi driver and we were off!

Going 130km/hr through overpasses and freeways certainly awakened the senses, as did seeing skid marks going from one side of the freeway to the other, that led to a crashed lamborghini with deployed airbags, as the driver sheepishly walked towards the awaiting tow truck. Thankfully the apartment was still open as an earlier phone call from Melbourne was greeted with a plethora of 'yes' answers to all my questions which planted a few doubts.

I plonked my bags in the room around 1am, turned on the computer, sending an email to let people know I was coming in to work later that day...